BSML: Bullshit Markup Language

I received this request to take down my BSML web page, but I would rather have my constitutionally protected right to free speech, than the appreciation of a company that would seriously use the name "BSML". Are there a lot of people named "Gene" working in the Biological Sciences industry?

From: Gene Van Slyke
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2001 10:37 AM
Subject: BSML Trademark


While reviewing the internet for uses of BSML, we noted your use of BSML on While we find your use humorous, we have registed the BSML name with the United States Patent and Trademark Office and would appreciate you removing the reference to BSML from your website.

Thanks for your cooperation,

Gene Van Slyke
CFO LabBook

BSML: Bull Shit Markup Language

Bull Shit Markup Language is designed to meet the needs of commerce, advertising, and blatant self promotion on the World Wide Web.

New BSML Markup Tags

CRONKITE Extension

This tag marks authoritative text that the reader should believe without question.

SALE Extension

This tag marks advertisements for products that are on sale. The browser will do everything it can to bring this to the attention of the user.

COLORMAP Extension

This tag allows the html writer complete control over the user's colormap. It supports writing RGB values into the system colormap, plus all the usual crowd pleasers like rotating, flashing, fading and degaussing, as well as changing screen depth and resolution.

BLINK Extension

The blinking text tag has been extended to apply to client side image maps, so image regions as well as individual pixels can now be blinked arbitrarily.

The RAINBOW parameter allow you to specify a sequence of up to 48 colors or image texture maps to apply to the blinking text in sequence.

The FREQ and PHASE parameters allow you to precisely control the frequence and phase of blinking text. Browsers using Apple's QuickBlink technology or MicroSoft's TrueFlicker can support up to 65536 independently blinking items per page.

Java applets can be downloaded into the individual blinkers, to blink text and graphics in arbitrarily programmable patterns.

See the Las Vegas and Times Square home pages for some excellent examples.